Lucky It Was Not.

That is all.
The end.
I tried to hard.
Got way more than I ever dreamed but I'm so greedy for more.
The thought that burns the most is someone else in my place. I truly know that is the worst. I understand now why Sarin wanted to know so badly. Without a name, without a face you imagine perfection. Someone who bests you on every way. And clearly they must, right?
I'm sorry, Sarin. Her name is Sidney and she destroyed. Feel free to smile.

I don't want to know though. I don't want see, I don't want to hear, but I can't shut you out. I'm interested and in love with everything you do. But I have to, I have to let go. I have to move on, because you have. I can't sit alone in the past, because it is just that, a lonely place.
So lonely in the atmosphere.
I could spill for days, but nothing good will come it. There's no point in trying to grasp and express my love, because it's not felt and it's not mutual.
There is no lonlier feeling that to love alone.
"The greatest thing you'll learn is just to love and be loved in return."
From one of my favorite movies ever.
But I doubt I'll watch any movies for quite some time. I hate so badly to see them without someone of my own to imagine.
Looks like there won't be a 500 Days of Summer viewing for awhile... And when there is, I hope she hasn't seen it, because I dislike watching new movies with those who have already scene it.
That's gonna be ice breaker from now on... "Have you seen...?"
But NO! That was to be our movie... :'[[




For what it's worth, and it seems about nothing, I love(d) you.
But today I work on letting go.
Or maybe I don't.
My heart hurts so much.

Stay safe,


_jakoby