So Much Meaning in So Little Words.

Crazy. Absolute craziness. Never would have thought myself here for real... Yet, here I am and I couldn't be happier.
I'm finally going to step back into the studio the week of the 18th. It's been far too long since I've been there, shiiiizzzzzz. Excited as all hell to get these songs finished and down the path to writing and recording more, discovering my sound and direction a little more with each one. Just hope my words and melodies don't bring it down! :]
I was thinking earlier how crazy it is how much a part of or completely a person con be our lives, for so long and then one day you find them on your mind and realize that they weren't there the day before or the day before that or at any moment that you con recall. Not stripped from your memory exactly, but from your consciousness You find yourself making a conscious effort to actually think of them. It made me laugh and smile when this occurred with my thoughts earlier today. Then I thought back to those just in the past 4 years and found that I had to do the same thing to recall them. It's such a clean and refreshing feeling. I'm so glad to be where I am and be with who I am. That she, on my mind is a conscious flow of thought. Waking or dreamt.
It was kind of scary at first actually, the fact that someone could just vanish from thought without you so much as noticing.
Then, I thought some more and realized that it, as everything else is a choice. A choice to let go and move on, just as it is choice as much as it is fate to hold on to, to cherish, to love.
In a weird way that I've wrapped around in my head that I con't seem to put down in words, it's helped me come around with feelings of jealousy and regret that I so nastily distaste.
I just hope I con keep that thought in my head the next time those feelings roll around.
I think those feelings, for me anyway, stem from this new revelation that sometimes thought must be recalled and not that it's just there...
For me, there is a difference, however small, in being thought of and being thought about. I mean, I'm not gonna dwell on it, but the idea is there. I may have not stated that right... But I know what I mean: that there's a difference in the fact that someone is still on your mind or that you have to actually try to think about them.
There's good and bad in both. So, I don't ever see myself getting angry or upset at either! Hence, my ability to feel less of jealousy and regret!
There. Did I nail it, for me?
I think so.

Makes sense to me.
Gonna go... Veg. Music. Movies. Design. Chill. Read. Geek =]
In this moment, I am happy n_n

Stay safe.

_jakoby