A little excerpt from myself via the sundayKILLsunday Myspace Blog to start us off:
"...Too often I get stuck in the thought that one song or action will define me, as an artist and SKS forever, that is where my hang-up always lies. I need to let go of this and remember that music, as any other art is a learning and growth process. Both of which I have done here and will continue to do so. I'm so excited for everyone to experience this universe with me that I'm creating and I know I've already blown myself away with just the roughs and ideas I have for this adventure. I hope to do the same for you..."
Everyday in my writing I struggle and fight myself for independence between my creations. That each sole piece is just that, a piece. A small part in building and defining who I am and what I’ll be. I don’t know if I believe in “defining moments”, such as when people ask, “When did you know?”. I believe that everything we do and that has been done can be counted back by a series of events, then again, I do believe in many conflicting ideals. Just as each event con be traced in a line of happenings, it con also be recalled by the event that happened immediately prior and thought the catalyst. Where does that leave the rest of the events then, big or small? I guess each event could come in pairs of two… But then you’d still have a series of pairs leading to where ever it is that you end, if endings are believed.
What I’m getting at is I guess, is that we and our lives are defined by everything that we create and how we react in a given situation. You don’t fall in love, even if you think you have, because of one moment in time. One heart grabbing moment where, you know. There may be the moment you realize, but had only that moment taken place would you still find yourself in love? Even here, I guess you could see it as a series and growth.
Perhaps a defining meeting and a single event does in fact lead you to fall in love… But is that not a series of growth? I could contradict and go in circles all day I suppose.
There are no rules though and you choose what you let define your being and the world around you. I wish to define myself in a series. A collection of events, creations and my daily livings. It is for me to decide everyday how I live it. Though in the end… It’s up to everyone else to decide how they choose to see you. So, when does it ever really matter?
I don’t know. Would that not again be your choice to decide whether or not you be affected by the perceptions of others?
I’ve gotten away from what I was after… and I now I don’t even remember where I was headed.
It all falls back on everything being your choice, but as my conflicting ideals go, what about fate? May you choose your fate? Your destiny? Then, wouldn’t it stop being fate or destiny and become choice? Is there one thing you are destined to do and one person you are destined to be with? Again, I don’t know, so I don’t know where I’m headed.
I like to believe in the magic of the one you’re to be with, but if you’re with them… I believe you were meant to be there too, no matter the length of time. If you have chosen it or it has occured, it was meant to be and to take place, destined.
Ha. Wow. Just scanned through that and found myself asking if that is what I really believe in.
Confused inside and out and just going in circles.
So, hopefully to clarify for myself and you a little…
I love what I do and wish to do it because it feels right and I couldn’t imagine doing anything else and wouldn’t choose to do anything else.
I love who I love because of who they are and the moments we have defined together.
I love her because…Hmmm… Just thought a minute and this is about to get intense and too long in an already drawn out piece.
Do we choose who and what we love? Doesn’t that take the feeling out of feeling?
But if we do something only because we’re meant to… That couldn’t possibly feel right.
I’m kind of frozen in question right now so I think I’ll stop.
I’ve confused myself :\
Stay safe.
_jakoby
P.S. Expect updates to this.
No comments:
Post a Comment