Lucky It Was Not.

That is all.
The end.
I tried to hard.
Got way more than I ever dreamed but I'm so greedy for more.
The thought that burns the most is someone else in my place. I truly know that is the worst. I understand now why Sarin wanted to know so badly. Without a name, without a face you imagine perfection. Someone who bests you on every way. And clearly they must, right?
I'm sorry, Sarin. Her name is Sidney and she destroyed. Feel free to smile.

I don't want to know though. I don't want see, I don't want to hear, but I can't shut you out. I'm interested and in love with everything you do. But I have to, I have to let go. I have to move on, because you have. I can't sit alone in the past, because it is just that, a lonely place.
So lonely in the atmosphere.
I could spill for days, but nothing good will come it. There's no point in trying to grasp and express my love, because it's not felt and it's not mutual.
There is no lonlier feeling that to love alone.
"The greatest thing you'll learn is just to love and be loved in return."
From one of my favorite movies ever.
But I doubt I'll watch any movies for quite some time. I hate so badly to see them without someone of my own to imagine.
Looks like there won't be a 500 Days of Summer viewing for awhile... And when there is, I hope she hasn't seen it, because I dislike watching new movies with those who have already scene it.
That's gonna be ice breaker from now on... "Have you seen...?"
But NO! That was to be our movie... :'[[




For what it's worth, and it seems about nothing, I love(d) you.
But today I work on letting go.
Or maybe I don't.
My heart hurts so much.

Stay safe,


_jakoby

Words From My Past.

October 13, 2009 105 days ago.

Sidney and I have been hanging ouuut! And it is awwwesome, no lie. Having a female friend to relate to so well and able to be comfortable. Watched a movie last Friday at my casa. Hard not to break the friend the boundry... She's so beautiful. Difficult to resist the temptation to hold her. I get such an attachment... Don't want to end up falling flat... Don't want to push forward to fast, because I do value friendship. Her friendship. Like those cliche tv show moments "I dont want to ruin what we have."

There are so many little things... That I read into too much. That's just who and how I am. A romantic. A poet. When I feel something I let it be known. I let the words flow.

So strange that I wrote about her a week before she started talking to me. This is my high school crush. Didn't think I had one, but I definitely did. Since Junior year. That field trip. I remember very vividly....

"Where do we go from here?"

I'm so overbearing, but I'm not worried. Everything will be as it should be...

5 days later on October 18, I wrote to her:

Where do I begin? I suppose in saying that just because I say something or feel some way, you know that you don't have to return it. I just love to write. Love to get it out and let it be known. To keep anything in, just wouldn't be me and I truly want you to know me. For if you ever fell again, I'd want it to be with me, not "me". I'm so beyond tired of the cliché, high school, easy-way out of, "You changed." Tired of the high school relationship in it's

entirety. I have been and always will be me, for whoever chooses to see it and for the one who let's me in. This isn't that kind of letter though :)

I won't lie to you, never will. Though you've heard it, I'm sure... But I assure you, with all of me, it's true. If you ever doubt me, it's as simple as looking into my eyes and asking for truth. I'm completely vulnerable to that... And already I feel that I could be so vulnerable to you and your world. In the best of ways. I'm not asking you to open up to me, I know what you're going through and feeling for the most part, I'm sure. Just saying, I'm not afraid to do so with you. I'm sorry if this feels like weight or stress. We have talked and we are on the same page. I'm not trying to force the issue, because there isn't one :))
It is a lot to say so soon, but it doesn't feel wrong, or forced to put these words down. I think about you so often. My thoughts are so flooded in the most wonderful, overwhelming way. I know in the moments that we're together, when my skin flushes and the butterflies flutter that it would be so easy and amazing to fall in love with you. When I hug you as you leave, that I could so easily never let go. The moments I imagine rush without force: Midnight drives, your warm embrace beneath the stars, feeling you breathe as you sleep. It's another endless list, though a bit more secret. My heart now is beating faster just at the thought and it's not lust. Laughing and smiling do not so easily and unexpectedly come with a simple lust. More than anything though, I want your trust. Your happiness. Nothing else is as important. You told me not to wait, but that's what I'm doing. That, next to you is what I'm wanting. Waiting for the time and place when everything is right. When hopefully, I can look down and see your fingers laced with mine. Safe and trusting of my love for you. I'm excited to wait for you. And if in the end, all I have is your friendship, know that I could last happily on that. But I can feel so much more than that, this is more than a crush for me and I'm not afraid.

3 Days later on October 21st we held hands we were close for the first time.

Again, 3 days later on October 24th we kissed magically beneath the stars and grew closer yet again.

A week later on Halloween we made what was known to me as love.
I guess I got a trick that holiday.
But I'm just being bitter.


I see 3's repeated often, including Halloween on the 31st.
18 minus 5...
And they say 3rd times the charm and she is my 3rd serious relationship as far as that goes... So I can only hope and pray...

And oh, p.s....

Today's date, 5 - 2?
Yeah.

Ha, I'm gonna all obsessed with numbers like that movie, the Number Twenty-THREE.
Haha, shiiiittt.
And it's like... Every song from Boys Like Girls first album says nearly everything I need to say. So that'll be my playlist for a while.

My heart hurts so bad.

Too Bad I Love You.

"Let's not pretend like you're alone tonight I know he's there and you're probably hanging out and making eyes while across the room he stares.
I bet he gets the nerve to walk the floor and ask my girl to dance, she'll say 'Yes.'"

When you know, you know.
Too bad it comes with all the bad feelings as much as the good.

"I hope while sleeping
I know that if you're finding solid ground
You'll know everything is, everything is sound
What am I gonna with all this time I set aside for you?"

I love you.

Artistic Update!

This is basically what high school looked like to me... Intense, huh?
Specifically, Senior year.
I have pages and pages of this stuff, but I don't really wanna photograph or scan it all! So here's just a small look into my past:
(you con click the images to make 'em bigger)

This one I'm stoked about just because I did it 100% on my phone. Go technology, right?

And this I snapped yesterday driving to work, also with my phone.

While I'm at it, here's Daily Booth #10:

"I can disappear any time I want to, 'time I feel you shuffle through my skin, I'm with you 'til the end."

I think I'll actually go draw now! And try to keep this current with drawings/photographs/whatever I think is interesting to view.
Thanks Ben for the inspiration!
[http://benclaver.blogspot.com/]

Stay safe!

_jakoby

Daily Booth #9

I think that my blog is going to turn into more of a photo journal. Of whatever my day consists of, including drawings and such, 'cause I think that'll be more fun to look at rather than read a daily rant. Unless it's something uber important, thought provoking, or musical.So basically... Still anything I guess. Haha.

I just need to stop only updating Daily Booth photos on here. It's no fun for me!
I'll start the photo blog/sketchbook/musical endeavour adventure tomorrow!

"Bedtime and Batman."

Daily Booth #8

My blog is turning into a Daily Booth update. That's not okay! Tonight I will do an actual blog! Whoa. Off to work now... Laaaaaaame.

"Damn! Forgot yesterday and it's time to work! All around fail!"

Daily Booth #5 #6(x2) & #7

Haven't updated the past couple days, but it's no fun when blogging starts to feel like a job :]

Just been chillin', workin', geekin' and missing my most beautiful Sidney.
My life summed up. Haha.

"Fresh outta' the shower!"

"Work in 5ish hours. I snarl a lot."

"There. I wanted to be less snarly and more... "What the fuh!?" Still work in 5ish hours. I promised I won't do anymore double Daily Booth's. 'cause it's not "Bi-Daily".

"I can get sexual too. Haha. I never sleep."

There ya' go! The past couple days of my life wrapped up in 4 pictures. Haha. I'll try not to get behind again! Then I can actually talk about what going on and not just speed through everything.

Stay safe.

_jakoby

Daily Booth #4

"Been designing all day for the SKS Universe... Tired and my back hurts... Big things going on though. Excited!"

Caption says it all, really! Been photoshopping all day... Got the first t-shirt design finished and... A sticker layout complete. Next I'll start on... Something huge =] Big stuff soon! Super excited! So far I have completed: a new MySpace layout. EP Cover. Shirt. Stickers. That's a lot of designing for lil' me. Time to work on more music for all this big stuff goin' on! Wahooooo! Believe it's shower time now and some food! Supposed to eat every 4 hours, or something like that. Stay safe. _jakoby

Daily Booth #3

Just working on some t-shirt designs! Getting pumped.

Believe SKS has a show in 2 months... Gonna be a huge unveiling... Don't wanna say anything 'cause I don't know if I'm allowed!;]
Anyway, excited for that.
Here's me on DB#3 not going to bed, 'cause I don't sleep.
And boys don't cry.

Random The Cure thought.

"Time for bed? Not even close!"

Boredom Leads to Blogging.

So welcome, to Blogtown.
Just waiting for Sidney on this afternoon, near evening.
Haven't done a damn thing today. Meant to. So many things floating around in my head! Ideas and such. I just need to freaking get on it. Procrastination is such a killer and I hate wasting time. What an ordeal.
Working on filling out the SKS line-up. Think it's progressing! Fingers crossed.
So many ideas for design in the SKS universe, but have I started? No. Haha. Shit. Should be doing it now, but instead I'm just talking about doing it.
Believe I'll start with some t-shirts. Then some stickers and flyers/posters. V-necks or regular neck shirts? Thinking probably half and half for the first run of dudes and probably all V's for the ladies' T's. How's that sound? Good to me.
Anyone know of any filmographers with a basic - intermediate knowledge of their camera?
I also want to film the creation of this first EP as we do it ourselves, someone not in the band so we con all be shown in the process, someone with loads of free time and a camera, that's pretty much all you need, as I think I would be doing all the editing, another chance to be artistic.
It won't be entirely for free either, we'll throw in some SKS shwag and maybe $25 too.
Let me know! Oh! Another thought, the ability to connect a mic to the camera would be a huge plus, so the audio doesn't sound all "Skkkkkkkffffffffffffvvvvvvvrmmmmmmmmm" anytime the sound increases past 60 dB. I have all this equipment available to me... But I don't wanna be worrying about my shiz while also trying to write and be creative! That wouldn't be a good environment.
Anyone know of someone? Or happen to be that person!? Lemme know.
That seemed more like a Craigslist ad than a blog post. Oh well. It's what's on my mind. Think I'll start on some shirt ideas now! I'll get some screen captures up once I have something worth showing.

Stay safe.

_jakoby

P.S. Where's Sidney? :[

Daily Booth #2

Just waiting around for my Sidfriend for our last playdate before she goes back to Boise. Boooo :]

"Ready for... The Evening!"

Daily Booth #1

Since there is not yet a widget that shows your latest photo from Daily Booth, I'm going to add a post showcasing my latest snapshot in addition to my regular daily(ish) whatever I spill out here. It'll give an actual look into whatever I'm doing(or not doing).
We'll see how long I keep this up... Don't wanna get repetitive in my networks!
Maybe I will start adding more photos in general... We'll see!
Here is Daily Booth number one!

"The first Daily Booth photo ever. 2am and needing a shave. Perhaps some sleep too."

So Much Meaning in So Little Words.

Crazy. Absolute craziness. Never would have thought myself here for real... Yet, here I am and I couldn't be happier.
I'm finally going to step back into the studio the week of the 18th. It's been far too long since I've been there, shiiiizzzzzz. Excited as all hell to get these songs finished and down the path to writing and recording more, discovering my sound and direction a little more with each one. Just hope my words and melodies don't bring it down! :]
I was thinking earlier how crazy it is how much a part of or completely a person con be our lives, for so long and then one day you find them on your mind and realize that they weren't there the day before or the day before that or at any moment that you con recall. Not stripped from your memory exactly, but from your consciousness You find yourself making a conscious effort to actually think of them. It made me laugh and smile when this occurred with my thoughts earlier today. Then I thought back to those just in the past 4 years and found that I had to do the same thing to recall them. It's such a clean and refreshing feeling. I'm so glad to be where I am and be with who I am. That she, on my mind is a conscious flow of thought. Waking or dreamt.
It was kind of scary at first actually, the fact that someone could just vanish from thought without you so much as noticing.
Then, I thought some more and realized that it, as everything else is a choice. A choice to let go and move on, just as it is choice as much as it is fate to hold on to, to cherish, to love.
In a weird way that I've wrapped around in my head that I con't seem to put down in words, it's helped me come around with feelings of jealousy and regret that I so nastily distaste.
I just hope I con keep that thought in my head the next time those feelings roll around.
I think those feelings, for me anyway, stem from this new revelation that sometimes thought must be recalled and not that it's just there...
For me, there is a difference, however small, in being thought of and being thought about. I mean, I'm not gonna dwell on it, but the idea is there. I may have not stated that right... But I know what I mean: that there's a difference in the fact that someone is still on your mind or that you have to actually try to think about them.
There's good and bad in both. So, I don't ever see myself getting angry or upset at either! Hence, my ability to feel less of jealousy and regret!
There. Did I nail it, for me?
I think so.

Makes sense to me.
Gonna go... Veg. Music. Movies. Design. Chill. Read. Geek =]
In this moment, I am happy n_n

Stay safe.

_jakoby

Day Late.

No blog yesterday... Oh well. Yesterday was a fine lazy day off. I do hate wasting days, so I finished my melodies and redid some graphics for the MySpace. Looking much sharper. Meant to start some merch, but ended up watching Batman instead. Haha. Such a geek. Batman Beyond r00lz though.
Now, I'm just procrastinating getting ready for work... But tonight... My Sidfriend :]] What a ridiculously long week. I'm sure they'll only get longer, but I'm not gonna think about that now. I never thought I'd be here and now... Here I am. A step away from falling head over heels, completely in....

Stay Safe.

_jakoby

Oh So, Uneventful.

After a late night of Batman cartoons, breaking down for no reason and having it hurt my Sidfriend... I finally fell asleep around 4ish this morning. Woke up randomly throughout the night with bad dreams and worse feelings. Wish I knew where that kind of thing came from.
I didn't get out of bed today/yesterday until almost 2. I wasn't tired just didn't feel a reason to get out of bed. One of my new Twitter followers agreed that unless I didn't have anything to do, no reason to get up. It was pretty comforting just to lay and be for awhile. Try and sort some thoughts. Sometimes not having my tv is nice. I still would like to purchase a larger one, But I have no immediate need, so I'm just gonna try and chill awhile on that.
I really would like to get back to saving, but I feel there's so much I want/need. Today I started on a bidding war for a keyboard/midi-controller/powerhouse that I'm absolutely in love with. Would definitely help me in my musical endeavor and the direction I'm headed. Plus, if I'm able to score it from this eBay store that'll save me about $250. Con't complain about that. So, everyone keep your fingers crossed for me and I'll keep you updated and post pictures when I get it. Yeah, I'm that confident :)
Work was reasonbly chill tonight. I was home by 10:30 which RARELY happens. Tomorrow/today is payday and another day off. Looking forward to that and what my day will bring, 'cause come Friday... I'll be holding my Sidfriend again.
What a long week without her it's been. As the Blink letter goes:
"I've never been so lonesome in my life as I am right now. I'm completely lost without you, Darling. I never realized I could miss any one person so much."
Words couldn't be truer.
I'm also pretty positive that's the first time I've written out or used that word.
So excited for her <3
Now... I think it's time for some reading and sleeping soon thereafter. I don't wanna be in bed all day tomorrow.

Stay safe.

_jakoby

With A Sigh...

Why do I just sit and let my days waste? Why don't I find the motivation to do something? I want to blame the town and give myself the excuse that I just need to leave and maybe, maybe I really do. That's still no excuse not to do anything while I am here, because I am here and there's nothing to come of sitting around but regret. I suppose the day/evening is still relatively young... So I should attempt at something, 'cause as of now all today has consisted of is hours of HGTV and making some funnel cakes. What a combo.
I did watch some YouTube of bands in the studio doing their records and living their dream and mine. It's so inspiring. And just as I'm about to work, really work at it... I get so down and uninspired at the thought of doing this alone. That's not the dream I have or what I want.
So... I suppose I'll try to do something now. Finalize the lyrics for demo II, so I can get out of the studio, 'cause I know the way I forced myself in unprepared has really stressed me out and taken the fun out of what I'm doing. It's not the way I wanted to do it, but it got me to do it. A start is a start, I suppose.

Stay Safe.

_jakoby

Eyes Burn, Begging For Sleep.

(this kinda ended up sounding like a letter. I didn't mean it to... But that's what happened:)

2:30ish am.
Relatively normal time for me. Feels so much different though these days. I feel tired. Drained. Sounds normal, but for me it's sooo not. Tired usually hits around 4:30-5ish.
I'm not struggling that much am I? I don't realize how hard my mind and body are working to keep some sense of normalcy. A fail safe? Who could stay sane knowing how hard they're working just to reach their current level?
I don't wanna sound like a depressed, drama queen... But damn.
In all honesty, not in 3 months did I ever get ready and/or go out without plan or intention to see you.
I'm not complaining either. More of a "Wow." feeling. That in such a short time I was able and lucky enough to have my world redefined in such a drastic manner. Every scene painted us together.
Against all struggles, I went to the mall today. Possibly the fastest mall run ever. It's not like I sprinted through scared, just walked through uneasy. I didn't want to run into anyone, didn't want to hear, "Where's Sid?" 'cause that's what I was thinking, and verbalization, realization is always so much worse.
It's crazy how many places you con see someones face, how many simple things, and you hear their laugh.
I'm not depressed.
But I am longing, though it hasn't even been that long. I guess if I counted the seconds as miliseconds, you wouldn't seem so many days away. But, I'll count in my own right, and I know... What do I know? I know that... Every moment passing is another closer you, but every minute you're not around is... Hard to handle. To say the very least. I speak like you're dead. I don't think that way and we both know that... Nothing about us, is dead at all.
This feeling now though... I'm not even sure what is. A lot of selfishness, I suppose... But no, not even really that. I'm just lonely. And there is nothing I want to fix that, except you :) My choice. I would feel too guilty any other way.
Every time I write like this, I get lost and forget what I meant to say. Maybe I never knew. Just trying to write out some feeling.

_________________________________________

Days events... Woke. Showered. Mall. Laundry. Work. Hockey. Home. Blog.
Days are much shorter in blog form.
I've done my laundry in the past 4 days more than I've done it my entire life... Which is only twice. Babied? Yes.
Work... Did some busing. So much more chill than dishing. I hate though when people speak to me like I need encouragement. Like, I look down. I don't need the sympathy, nor do I want it or am I trying to get it. I just hate that place and it literally sucks the life out of you. It's a dementor of a building. It could be an easy fix with a "love what I'm doing" attitude. I don't want to love it though, I don't wish to be content there, because everyday I see that and it's not a life I want to live. It's hardly a life at all. That's just me though. Maybe they truly do love their place right now and wouldn't change it for the world. The attitudes leave me to believe otherwise... But who am I to judge? No Harvard for me.
Game, we shoulda won, but they had some lucky bounces and the team hung their heads. Next time.
Now... I think it's time for contacts out and a little reading.
I love reading. I love the escape. Not in the, "My life is so terrible, take me away." escape, just the escape and the adventure and the fun. I always end up, in some envisioning myself and some of those around me in whatever tale I'm reading. A... "What if?" kind of imagining and placing, I guess. I dunno. My mind is crazy.
I used a lot of quotes tonight.

I love sleeping.
But, I miss the weight of your head on my rising chest.

Stay safe.

_jakoby

Two In A Day.

Immediately posting another blog because... It's driving me crazy that I wasn't able to say in the entry below what I wanted to say. I feel it just needs to be known that I'm not happy with that.
And it begs the question, What do I believe in?

Stay safe.

_jakoby

A Series of Confusing Paragraphs.

A little excerpt from myself via the sundayKILLsunday Myspace Blog to start us off:

"...Too often I get stuck in the thought that one song or action will define me, as an artist and SKS forever, that is       where my hang-up always lies. I need to let go of this and remember that music, as any other art is a learning and growth process. Both of which I have done here and will continue to do so. I'm so excited for everyone to experience this universe with me that I'm creating and I know I've already blown myself away with just the roughs and ideas I have for this adventure. I hope to do the same for you..."


Everyday in my writing I struggle and fight myself for independence between my creations. That each sole piece is just that, a piece. A small part in building and defining who I am and what I’ll be. I don’t know if I believe in “defining moments”, such as when people ask, “When did you know?”. I believe that everything we do and that has been done can be counted back by a series of events, then again, I do believe in many conflicting ideals. Just as each event con be traced in a line of happenings, it con also be  recalled by the event that happened immediately prior and thought the catalyst. Where does that leave the rest of the events then, big or small? I guess each event could come in pairs of two… But then you’d still have a series of pairs leading to where ever it is that you end, if endings are believed.
     What I’m getting at is I guess, is that we and our lives are defined by everything that we create and how we react in a given situation. You don’t fall in love, even if you think you have, because of one moment in time. One heart grabbing moment where, you know. There may be the moment you realize, but had only that moment taken place would you still find yourself in love? Even here, I guess you could see it as a series and growth.
     Perhaps a defining meeting and a single event does in fact lead you to fall in love… But is that not a series of growth? I could contradict and go in circles all day I suppose.
     There are no rules though and you choose what you let define your being and the world around you. I wish to define myself in a series. A collection of events, creations and my daily livings. It is for me to decide everyday how I live it. Though in the end… It’s up to  everyone else to decide how they choose to see you. So, when does it ever really matter?
     I don’t know. Would that not again be your choice to decide whether or not you be affected by the perceptions of others?
I’ve gotten away from what I was after… and I now I don’t even remember where I was headed.
It all falls back on everything being your choice, but as my conflicting ideals go, what about fate? May you choose your fate? Your destiny? Then, wouldn’t it stop being fate or destiny and become choice? Is there one thing you are destined to do and one person you are destined to be with? Again, I don’t know, so I don’t know where I’m headed.
     I like to believe in the magic of the one you’re to be with, but if you’re with them… I believe you were meant to be there too, no matter the length of time. If you have chosen it or it has occured, it was meant to be and to take place, destined.
     Ha. Wow. Just scanned through that and found myself asking if that is what I really believe in.
Confused inside and out and just going in circles.
So, hopefully to clarify for myself and you a little…

I love what I do and wish to do it because it feels right and I couldn’t imagine doing anything else and wouldn’t choose to do anything else.
I love who I love because of who they are and the moments we have defined together.
I love her because…

Hmmm… Just thought a minute and this is about to get intense and too long in an already drawn out piece.

Do we choose who and what we love? Doesn’t that take the feeling out of feeling?
But if we do something only because we’re meant to… That couldn’t possibly feel right.

I’m kind of frozen in question right now so I think I’ll stop.
I’ve confused myself :\

Stay safe.

_jakoby

P.S. Expect updates to this.

Eff My Ability.

My prolonged procrastination is my worst enemy. Once I'm able to force myself into doing whatever it is that I've been putting off, the result is always one that I am proud of. In this case, lyrics and melody. Melody has always been the downfall of my writing, or so that's what I thought and that is why I have always failed in that area. The mind is powerful and it's time I start Practicing what I so whole-heartedly believe in. I can. I decide what I do. My universe.

Other news... Start busing on Monday. Yay. Better than washing dish, but lame, pretty much all the same.
It's money and though it's not worth much to me it is to others and I need to get back on my saving track so I con get the hell out of here and to... Wherever life leads and I choose to follow.

I've got a sweet secret mission going on for Sidfriend and a secret on top of that secret :)
I'm excited.

Stay safe.



_jakoby

Year Rocketship

Happy New Year!
What a year it was! Fell out of love. Graduated. Dedicated myself.
Found my passions. Defined success for myself. Started on the SKS EP.
Fell back in love...? n_n
Twenty-Oh-Nine, when looked back upon... I believe you will be loved
and missed.
That said, I am so excited to move forward and discover all that is to
be discovered about myself, this world and my place in it.
I may not have an exact direction or plan, but I have an idea and
ideas become dreams(or viceversa); dreams - plans; plans - goals and
my goals will be accomplished.
In the works now... I need to get these first tracks of the EP
finished and see if they're up to SKS snuff and in the direction that
I wish to take this first SKS adventure. I have so many grand visions
of the sundayKILLsunday universe, I just need to buckle down and put
pen to paper. Make all these fantasies realities. I have no reason to
wait and won't get anywhere doing so.
I've been in the studio far too long for only two songs; Just a couple
melodies away from completion on the first songs then I con and will
take my next steps for/with SKS.

On life and love... It is a rocket ride through my emotions and I
couldn't be happier with who I'm experiencing it all with. Friends,
Family and my beautiful, amazing Sidfriend... Who, in just a few short
months changed my perspective, my attitude and my heart, for the best.
I adore her and cherish the friendship that we have made. More and
more each day. Created something beautiful that neither of us thought
we'd ever see with each other.
Distance may only strengthen what it is that we have started.

As I've said many times before in numerous areas... Documentation!
I really will this time.
Photos.
Videos.
Writings.
Recordings.
Drawings.

I want to take hold of every oppurtunity and moment placed in front of
me and hold on to that which I love for as long as possible.

I was thinking I wouldn't have a New Years resolution, but it came to
me and now it's out there.
Already I'm excited and have ideas for the creative oppurtunity in
grasping these moments and I con't wait to start.
Something epically major and wonderfully amazing by the time I'm 19.
I told Sidney this and it will happen.
I'm the creator and architect of my universe. It's up to me to decide
what I experience in this life and I will take hold.
Take The Universe.

Stay safe.

_jakoby