There's Something About...

A kiss.

At the end of the night.
That takes all those doubts you had throughout the evening and erases them.
Because somewhere, and perhaps often, you did something right.

It's... Refreshing and reassuring.
There are so many things in a kiss and the moments surrounding... I can't even get into it, it twists my mind RIGHT up.

And I love it when... A song, my song fits another moment.
Finds another meaning.
Because, in that moment, I have done what I set out to do.
Mean something to someone and make a difference.

TO be that outlet.
Even if that person is me.
No, especially if that person is me, because I'm the hardest the person to please, my worst critic, and the fact that I, for the first time in my life, was completely proud of the music I created, filled a little hole for me and let me know that what I do, will be able to do the same for another.

Last thought of the night... It's so strange, the passing of time, the passing of moments.

The mere thought of time and what it actually is sends my mind into a frenzy, so I'm gonna stay away from that and onto my point.
It is strange, to me, how two, almost complete strangers, can go from awkward silences and hesitant laughs to the complete opposite in a single night.
The mental transition from stranger to friend astounds me.

I don't know how to put it.

I'm just so curious.

And wish to know so much.

Leads to loads of late nights and wandering minds.
There is so much we, and I will never understand.

Even so, I will never stop searching and seeking out everything that I want.

Stay safe.

_jakoby

Somewhere.

And someday, things will be different.

That day, is everyday.
Quoting myself, "Every moment, a chance to try again.
In every breath, an opportunity."

I don't know if I've ever written truer words.
Just as, yes. More so? Doubtful.

It's time to make larger steps. More visible, more worthwhile and just... Don't know how to say it without making everything seem worthless.
Because it hasn't been and will never be.
I'm so vague anymore.
It has it's way of keeping me comfortable.
Not for keeping others out, but in keeping my mind calm. It runs and wanders so quickly.
Drives me crazy trying to express it all.
In due time.

Stay safe.

_jakoby





_jakoby

Blank.

Restless.
Bored.
Lost.

Searching.

Stay safe.

_jakoby

Missing In Action.

Lost all my friends in one stupid night.
I'm still not exactly sure what happened.
But, I miss 'em all.
Evan's staying strong though.

God bless that dude.

It's such an empty, shallow feeling still.
It's like breaking up with your other, 3 times over.

'cause that's exactly what happened.

I'd like this all to blow over.

'cause I love the pack and this fucking bites.

But who knows...

According to them, I'm the worst.
And, maybe I am... For some reasons.
But what they're saying I did...
Is just so impossible untrue.
Time will tell.

On the bright side, I got some really GOOD news and just about the best invitation ever that same day.
So, hopefully and with all my wishing, this doesn't affect that, because we're all such a close group.
And even the small circles will affect the larger ones.
I'm being so vague.
But, it's in every one's best interest that I be so.
To everyone, I am insanely sorry.
And though you probably won't read this:
I hope you'll know.

And that this is killing me.
I feel sick to my stomach and I don't eat.
And though I don't believe in faults, just actions... These were all mine.
This is no pity party, I just wish I could show my sorrow and make something right.
I love you guys.

I know everything happens for a reason, I'm just struggling to find one here.


Stay safe.

_jakoby