As Always...

I am terrible at keeping a blog. Well, I'm good at "keeping" it. Just not keeping it up to date. Oh well, no one reads it... Yet. Big stuff in the works. Pumped and a half. Not sexual.
Stay Safe.

_jakoby

“Getting older by the minute”

“I’ve got so many places that I want to see and I’ve got so many faces that I want to be…”

This summer sure has flown by. At a ridiculous speed, I might add. When I say “might”, I mean I definitely just did. I haven’t done an actual Journal type entry in a while, but I’m so bad at this and I hate backtracking a ton of story. What does it matter though? This is pretty much for me anyway.
I’ll be 18 in a matter of days. 13 to be exact. What does that mean? I will then be able to get into real, legal trouble. Woo. I’ll be able to purchase, porn, cigarettes and lighters. Woo. Oh, and reserve my own hotel room. Like I use those. A sign in every young mans life is the free razor in the mail. Thank you, Gillette. I got mine today. It’s the best you con get, ya’ know?
Things that have occurred since last update… A ton.
And FUH. Totally just thought that I should have done some mobile updating while at Warped, since Twitter was down. Mother effer :[
There’s always next year, but I don’t think anything ever competes with the first time. It was quite a blast though. First “road trip” experience with friends. Definitely a fan of it all! Seriously wish I had thought to update from my phone, pretty bummed about that now
:[ Severely, actually. Oh well, con’t and won’t regret it for too long. The major fun and exciting things will never leave me, which was… Pretty much all of it.
The early morning wake-up. Downing my 32oz. of Monster before Pocatello[took about 20 minutes] I’m sure I could have done it faster, but I wasn’t trying to race, that’s just the speed at which I did it.
What else… I exchanged a tin full of change for $5 at a gas station ‘cause I didn’t want Coin Star to take away from my even five. Though… 5 isn’t an even number. Anyway, I’m getting distracted from what I was doing. Which was, listing eventful things in my mind… Though, I think I could list the whole day. I sound a little repetitive. It was an awesome day, okay? Okay. Mud fights, Rain, chillin’ with friends, drunk porn stars, all the great bands, 1am Denny’s, Racial Slug bug, illegally cramming 8 people into one hotel room, just being a teenager having fun. It’s pretty indescribable unless you there or have… Just, lived.
Just thought of this as I was texting someone: ya’ know how, “in your dreams” is supposed to be a type of insult? What if… You actually would like someone to dream of you? It threw me off for about one second as I wrote it, and obviously enough to blog about it. I’m a nerd for saying “blog” and using it as a verb.
Other stuff… Oh, got a job. Did I mention that ever? Don’t recall. Started… End of June. Washing dishes at the Brownstone. Woo-effing-hoo. It’s a job though and I have a goal in mind that I will reach! Whether it’s at the job or not, I will reach it!
One thing I wished I'd done this Summer and... Most of my life beforehand is document it more, I always say it, but never do it. Pictures, videos, writings, I really need to do it more! Needslashwant. Everyone encourage me. There's already so much I wish I had.
Oh! Something else Warped did for me other than provide an excellent time was inspire me so much more to play guitar and write and create and… Do everything that I want to do to grab hold of the future that I want so badly, Thank you Warped tour. Glad I could celebrate your 15th birthday with you. It really was one of the most memorable and fun times of my life thus far.
Speaking of music and writing, I currently playing music with a new fellow and it is progressing rather well, still playing with the moniker of “SUNDAYkillSUNDAY” but the music is in another direction from where I started, and I actually like it a lot. Seems to flow a lot better and easier and more natural for me to write. We have a show on August 29th[Happy Birthday… to ME!] in Pocatello to support the Invisible Children foundation, something I am SUPER stoked to do. Everyone should look into that if you’re not aware of what it is.
Seriously, Google it, it’ll take… 0.23 seconds. That’s what it just took me. And yeah, I used “Google” as a verb and proper noun at the same time.
I know there is a whole lot more, but if you’re still reading and have made it here… I know you must be bored, my life isn’t that enthralling, especially when I’m jumping over millions of details trying to backtrack. I’ll reallyreally try this time to keep a more constant update of my bloggy-blog. I just need to keep it fun and writing tonight was fun! So, hopefully I con keep it that way and updates that… No one will read will continue.
Until then, Stay safe!

_jakoby

To every broken heart in here…

THIS is SO unfair.
I honestly think I could have lived the rest of my life happily with her had I stayed in the dark. Without thought, without the knowledge. Alas, I found out.
What a heavy-hitter.
It’s so much worse than having the rug pulled out from underneath you, but I guess that would be correct line for which to describe.
I want so much to hurt her back. To hurt someone. To share this, though I know it will never help and I’d only feel worse afterwards.
I can’t call it anything but unfair.
& I know… Oh, I know no one said it would be fair, but seriously?
I con’t write enough to get this out, I con’t draw it out, listen to enough music,  scream it out, cry it out, breath it out. Nothing. How con I open myself up to let this all spill out? I con barely find the motivation to play music and it just makes worse, because I cannot sing it out. I’ve got pages of empty words without melodies, because she was my melody. I con’t find the chords to make the words work. I con’t do, what I do. I know it will pass… It must… IT IS JUST SO UNFAIR.
My livelihood has been taken from me. I feel like the  beast of this fairytale, when I never had the choice to let to let the sorceress in. I was cursed, simply on a whim.
Everything is as it should be… And it’s all for a reason…
But seriously?
I could write for days and I feel I’d feel the same.
I need to let time heal these wounds, but…
Time won’t pass through me quick enough.
Embrace each day and make it my own… It’s just so damn difficult right now.
The lyrics I produce now are never the ones I wanted to write.
This was never the way I wanted to feel.
Again.

          _Jakoby

I dare you.

Try to stop me.

Inspiring.

30 Seconds To Mars - Episode 1


Like I've told Sarin before, I want to take ourselves seriously, maybe too seriously. Have our music mean something. Have an impact. Meant something. Make a difference. Find our sound and imprint it on the world. Leave our mark and make our transmission...

Gosh.

School is over and I’m still a terrible blogger. S’not like I’ve had a ton of time anyway, with moving into a new a room, family here and just lots of life going on.
Lagoon last Friday. Man, that was EPIC. If I could go back and Groundhog that day, I would. Ridiculous that it’s already been 4 days since then. Life flying at me at 100mph, when is it gunna’ start to slow down? I need some time to think, some room to breathe, just a quick minute, okay?
Maybe I’ll get some pictures of the bus ride up.
Started moving into my new basement dwellings yesterday, pretty damn excited about that. Things went pretty smooth. Just a few more things to do. Like… Get a bed frame, reupholster my chair and move it down here, get a desk, my fridge, hang some ess up and hopefully get my tree painted!
Graduation practice in about an hour and a half. Super psyched for that with actual Graduation tomorrow at… 7? I think so. After these two events… I’ll probably only ever see a handful of all these people I’ve spent the better part of 7 years with. Extremely crazy.
Welp gotta’ go hop in the shower. Thought I better get a little update in while I’m not doing anything.
Stay Safe.

                    _Jakoby

Happy Graduation, Dick.

Thank you karma. You’ve got me confused here. Why this and why now? I just wanted to celebrate a happy final two weeks of high school and then, this. Maybe I’m just over-reacting because it’s fresh, I sure do hope so, because I hate this.
Car accident incase you’re wondering. Nothing to intense, just some douche speeding through a parking lot ramming into me. Smashed my right rear fender, pretty sure Brutus is totaled seeing as how repairs will cost more than what he’s worth, but he’s worth a lot  more to me. Dylon and Sarin seem relatively okay, some soreness, hope that’s all. That’s all that’s wrong with me, neck/back/shoulders sore, it’ll go away.
I just wanted to celebrate in happiness, yeah, it’s a week and a half away and yeah things will get brighter, because this isn’t that dark, but to me, it seems so. I just wanted to be selfish. I know that’s what it is. I wanted this to be about me in a good way. What’s so wrong about that? Is karma mad because I wanted to be the center, because I wanted to receive gifts, because I’ve worked for 12 years? Well, excuse me.
What I didn’t and don’t want is for my parents to now have to worry about fixing my car or getting a new one. Giving me my mum’s and getting her a new one. Any combo of that, I don’t want it to be about me in a negative way. I don’t want them to have to spare the expense because of me. Wish it were for me.
I wanted my gift at the end of school for what I’d worked for, not  because of what I’d done or what happened.
Hopefully and I con see my parents not thinking the same way, but as of right now, I feel terrible.
Too me, I guess it just seems a lot like a money factor and I definitely feel like a negative expense. They’ve been working on finishing my room forever, spending a lot of time and money on it, new furniture, new bathroom, new everything. I know they were/are planning something awesome for a graduation gift and now this.
It feels like added negative cost. I’m not such a burden. But, I feel it right now. I don’t want anything, but I do. Mostly I don’t though. I feel bad. I hope it goes away soon. I want to feel like I did 4 hours ago.
I’m selfish and I’m spoiled, I do know.
One other thing and…  I know it’s nothing, but it hurts like something… Come’on Jake. Let it go. It was a shaky moment, everyone’s a little weird. It’s fine.
I know.
But has it seemed like it longer…?

                    _Jakoby

Oh yeah.

I  have a blog. Hah. Been a while since I updated. That’s okay. No one reads it anyway. I need to get everyone hooked on blogging, like I tried to do with Twitter, worked a little! Anyway, I’ll write like people read it.
Sorry for the lack of updates been pretty busy lately. School, music, business, work[shit! I need to finish those tickets!] future. All sorts of stuff going on, you can relate in someway I hope.
Though the actual music hasn’t started yet. I believe I have a pretty solid line-up. You’ll read it here first who the members are. I don’t wanna’ say anything yet until we have anything tangible, ‘cause talking things up in the past has never amounted to anything, obviously. So:
Stay tuned for transmission.
Think of that as our/my mission statement. It works on deep levels. Try and find one for yourself. Much to be said on later days…
Stay Safe.

                     _Jakoby


P.S. Underscore or hyphen?

Logo Colours

Been messing around with colors for the band logo and these came out. Kinda' like the pastel of it. Less ominous looking and leaves it open for us to define our own sound and not have it defined by a name. The name which does have a deep meaning, so it's being kept. Maybe one of these days I'll post it...

[P.S. Apparently the color doesn't show up to well on this blog. So click this for a better look.
Not perfect yet. I'll keep working. Feel free to give input.]

Days [come&go]

Man, like I said[I think] days are flying by so insanely fast. It’s Thursday already? Practically Friday. I’ll call it Friday. ALREADY?! Insane. I swear my parents just went out of town.
My back has really been killing me the past couple of days. I don’t know what it is, but it’s a ridiculous pain around and behind my right shoulder blade. Definitely not happy news. I need/want it worked on asap.
Gunna’ start on some killer artwork soon. Hopefully today. Needa’ go on a run for supplies though. I don’t know where they all went, but they seem to have disappeared! Again, hopefully I can go do that today. I really want to get some artwork started and finished. My deviantART page is looking sad without any ART and… I’m looking like a poser.
Also with the shopping, I need to get some ess for my Senior Project Presentation and Portfolio[which is way past due].
I con’t believe it’s already time to do my presentation… A few short weeks away, especially if they go by the same as the last few. SO crazy. I remember the beginning of the year when I thought this would never come! Oh, and how prepared I would be. Hah.
My Senioritis is kicking in bad.

                   -Jakoby

Alright maybe I will mobile blog it up a bit.
I'm just all over the map with internet connections now! The Winternet, I'm calling it. A name one of my brother's Army buddies came up with.
Big, cool, exciting things have started to fall in place since my announcement of SKS being born only 8 hours ago. I can say I'm truly stoked, excited & beyond happy with my decisions. What ever was I thinking not to carry on in my own aspirations? Truly a short lacking of good judgement. I don't how much I can say on my next new project, because I missed the first meeting. I can say though that I'm involved. Designing a logo and hopefully work on some art...Cool stuff coming you guys. Stay posted.
Stay safe.
Love your world.
-Jakoby.

PS Hope this posts as one entry.

First mobile blog update, don't think I'll use this too often, that's what Twitter is for.
Jus' checking to see how and if it works.
-Jakoby

Where do we[I] go now?

With that whole “high school” thing coming to a quick close it leaves me lost and wondering. What I was so sure of last week, I don’t know anymore[related to schooling, by the by]. I know what I want and I know how to get it… At least how to work for it. I just don’t know the exact direction to take. Not that there is any one direction to take, but my true direction. Where am I being pulled? No. Where should I lead myself? This isn’t anyone’s choice but my own. I shouldn’t jump at someone else’s opportunity just because it seems more likely at the moment. I’m not ready to move out and I’m not ready for a change like this. While it is an exciting thought, it’s not exactly what I want right now. It’s not what I’m ready for. Nor is it mine. My mum is right... I do get these hair-brained idea and immediately try to jump all over them. I need to slow down and take this as it comes. Put it together how I want it. Make it my own.
It’s not my idea and my love. It’s not an idea from me or my loved one and friends. I know I get chastised for being wishy-washy. But hey, fuck you negative nay-sayers. You con’t expect me to know exactly how to go about what I want. Nor can you blame me for being a little confused at the moment. A big thing is about to happen for me. Grandiose, at this point in my life. I believe that I’m going to do this my way. With my plans, my original blue prints. My way. Our life.


Remember that name. It's going to be big one day. Huge. Epic. Global.

-Jakoby

Late to bed, Early to rise

My  day began all of 20 minutes ago. That’s not an angry statement, I had a grood 5-6 hours of sleep. I only wonder when my “sleeping in” became any time between 8 & 8:30? I can almost assure myself that tomorrow morning will be different. Seeing as how tomorrow morning will  still be today. That’s the first plan 
Also, woke to find some super sweet weather. Glad I’m not driving today.
I don’t understand the kids that claim to hate Idaho. It’s not that bad.  Oh and by sweet weather, I mean gray skies, fog, and a beautiful mixture of snow and rain.
….
I literally just sat here about 5 minutes thinking of anything else to write. Guess that means there’s nothing.
More updates later.

                   -Jakoby

Ketchup.

Things going on right now: Sitting on the couch, watching a shite movie. Starring Everyone’s favorite, Brendon Frasier. Haha. Just kidding it’s not terrible, because I’m not watching it. Is it Fraser? Or Frasier?
More of importance. The countdown to my high school graduation has gotten much smaller in number.  Less than a month small. Not counting weekends of course. Oh, and add the fact that Seniors get out early… My high school career is quickly coming to a close and I could be more excited. A lot has come up in the last week to excite me deeply. The thought of and plan to pursue college next Autumn. All the fun thoughts that go along with that. Moving out, which may be scarier than exciting, but new all the same. It wasn’t even a realistic plan for another 2 years. That decision came from this terrible economy and my inability to find a job. I am not about to sit around and hope for things to fall in place, I’m going to hafta’ step out and work to make it happen. After that thought/plan struck me and was decided upon… I contacted an old band mate to see what he was up to, knowing he was also attending ISU. Might as well try and kill two birds with one stone? [As much as I dislike violence]  As it turned out he is currently involved in a musical project, Paris Gray – and extended an invite to me to play with them and figure stuff out. Hell yeah. I leap at that opportunity. I love jumping into others started projects, lets me know they’re into it and dedicated. Not to mention it’s still in it’s baby stages so I can help mold it into a beautiful music adult. 
Terrible feeling of it all… Leaving my lady stranded and alone… Don’t get me started.

Hmm… What else?
I don’t ever use paragraph indents on a blog. Sorry if this annoys you.
That’s mostly a catch up on my life as of late…
Well, actually, no not really. But catching up on everything would take pages and not be all to thrilling. I just always start with a little back story before I get into the “fun writing”, just so you know what’s up in[or down] in my world right now.
Tomorrow is going to be quite an exciting day. Parents and brother going out of town – To Salt Lake for a Queensryche concert – and Dylon is coming over, going to be grand times. I’ll take pictures and post ‘em. Write up about it. I’ll do my best to keep track of the most interesting points of my life, cool things I find, rad things others find, etc. You know… Blog things.
Stay Safe!

                   -Jakoby

Let’s get back to Blogging

Well, I’m back. Maybe for a long while. We’ll see how the readers go. I try to be interesting… But…
Deleted all old blog posts, ‘cause… Well, They sucked a lot.
This time, starting…
Now. I’ll try less hard to be entertaining, because that usually comes off as annoying, because you can easily tell when someone is trying too hard.
That[and this] was a bit all over the place. I apologize.
If I’m gunna’ get back to this blog thing, I’m going to need to revamp the whole blog.
So maybe throw out some ideas on what I should do to make it better, what you’d like to see, etcetera.
So plan on seeing all that soon. Check back often, changes will be on-going: New layout, new picture, new content, new colors. New posts. More fun.

-Jakoby


P.S. Don't forget a logo... =] Get excited for that.