Happy Graduation, Dick.

Thank you karma. You’ve got me confused here. Why this and why now? I just wanted to celebrate a happy final two weeks of high school and then, this. Maybe I’m just over-reacting because it’s fresh, I sure do hope so, because I hate this.
Car accident incase you’re wondering. Nothing to intense, just some douche speeding through a parking lot ramming into me. Smashed my right rear fender, pretty sure Brutus is totaled seeing as how repairs will cost more than what he’s worth, but he’s worth a lot  more to me. Dylon and Sarin seem relatively okay, some soreness, hope that’s all. That’s all that’s wrong with me, neck/back/shoulders sore, it’ll go away.
I just wanted to celebrate in happiness, yeah, it’s a week and a half away and yeah things will get brighter, because this isn’t that dark, but to me, it seems so. I just wanted to be selfish. I know that’s what it is. I wanted this to be about me in a good way. What’s so wrong about that? Is karma mad because I wanted to be the center, because I wanted to receive gifts, because I’ve worked for 12 years? Well, excuse me.
What I didn’t and don’t want is for my parents to now have to worry about fixing my car or getting a new one. Giving me my mum’s and getting her a new one. Any combo of that, I don’t want it to be about me in a negative way. I don’t want them to have to spare the expense because of me. Wish it were for me.
I wanted my gift at the end of school for what I’d worked for, not  because of what I’d done or what happened.
Hopefully and I con see my parents not thinking the same way, but as of right now, I feel terrible.
Too me, I guess it just seems a lot like a money factor and I definitely feel like a negative expense. They’ve been working on finishing my room forever, spending a lot of time and money on it, new furniture, new bathroom, new everything. I know they were/are planning something awesome for a graduation gift and now this.
It feels like added negative cost. I’m not such a burden. But, I feel it right now. I don’t want anything, but I do. Mostly I don’t though. I feel bad. I hope it goes away soon. I want to feel like I did 4 hours ago.
I’m selfish and I’m spoiled, I do know.
One other thing and…  I know it’s nothing, but it hurts like something… Come’on Jake. Let it go. It was a shaky moment, everyone’s a little weird. It’s fine.
I know.
But has it seemed like it longer…?

                    _Jakoby