To every broken heart in here…

THIS is SO unfair.
I honestly think I could have lived the rest of my life happily with her had I stayed in the dark. Without thought, without the knowledge. Alas, I found out.
What a heavy-hitter.
It’s so much worse than having the rug pulled out from underneath you, but I guess that would be correct line for which to describe.
I want so much to hurt her back. To hurt someone. To share this, though I know it will never help and I’d only feel worse afterwards.
I can’t call it anything but unfair.
& I know… Oh, I know no one said it would be fair, but seriously?
I con’t write enough to get this out, I con’t draw it out, listen to enough music,  scream it out, cry it out, breath it out. Nothing. How con I open myself up to let this all spill out? I con barely find the motivation to play music and it just makes worse, because I cannot sing it out. I’ve got pages of empty words without melodies, because she was my melody. I con’t find the chords to make the words work. I con’t do, what I do. I know it will pass… It must… IT IS JUST SO UNFAIR.
My livelihood has been taken from me. I feel like the  beast of this fairytale, when I never had the choice to let to let the sorceress in. I was cursed, simply on a whim.
Everything is as it should be… And it’s all for a reason…
But seriously?
I could write for days and I feel I’d feel the same.
I need to let time heal these wounds, but…
Time won’t pass through me quick enough.
Embrace each day and make it my own… It’s just so damn difficult right now.
The lyrics I produce now are never the ones I wanted to write.
This was never the way I wanted to feel.
Again.

          _Jakoby